Monday, December 10, 2012

If You Teach a Man to Fish, He Will Probably Starve



There was a Rich man who saw that his Poor neighbor was hungry. The Rich man felt sad and decided he wanted to help the poor man.  The next day Rich awoke from a peaceful nights sleep and after having a large, satisfying breakfast, he went and said to his Poor neighbor, "I will help you."

Rich retrieved his fishing pole from his locked shed and invited Poor to his private, well-stocked, fresh-water stream that ran behind his home.  He taught Poor to bait and cast.  Rich was successful and caught several large bass for dinner that night.  Rich smiled inwardly as knew that he had done a great thing for Poor.  Rich taught Poor to fish and now Poor would never be hungry again.  Rich took his bass, his bait, all the hooks and his pole home.  Rich had a filling dinner, threw away the leftovers and fell asleep, still smiling.

The next morning, Rich awoke again from a peaceful slumber filled with sweet dreams, and ate a delicious, nutritional meal.  He walked outside to find Poor dying from starvation. Rich was angry.  He had wasted his energy and time teaching Poor to fish and here Poor was, still burdening society with his hunger and poverty. Rich cast Poor aside, scoffing Poor's lazy attitude and lack of work ethic.  Rich wondered if Poor expected him to share the fish he had caught? Bitterness set into Rich's heart. "That will only make him more lazy and dependent upon my generosity," thought Rich. "Let his hunger motivate him to fish as I taught him to."  Rich left with his pole, his hooks and his bait and went to go catch his dinner.

It wasn't that Poor hadn't tried.  He cut a branch from a tree and found some leftover twine to try and make a pole.  There was no bait, so Poor took a bit of bread and attached it to the end of the string.  There was no hook, so Poor prayed for a miracle.  Poor had no land.  He walked several miles until he found a small standing of run-off water.  It was polluted and contained no living thing.  Poor didn't realize his attempts were futile.  His hope and self-esteem plummeted as he continued, in vain, to try and mimic what Rich had taught him.   After hours in the hot sun, Poor fell asleep, confused at his failure.  It was fitful, sleeping on the ground, and he tossed and turned.  His body ached and he woke up more tired than when he fell asleep.

Thoughts ran through his mind of survival. Could he steal a fish? Could he beg for a fish? Were his only choices crime or humilation? One would send him to prison and the other would make him a mockery of society. He thought of his children.  How they were hungry and counting on him.  He thought of Rich and all the fish he so easily caught with his shiney pole, sharp hooks and fresh bait.  Hopelessness set into Poor's heart.

Luke 16: 19 - 31

Credit Scores

 

I am nervous about putting these thoughts on paper, but having considered them for a long time, I am ready to go out on a limb.  Deep breath. Crack my knuckles. Here we go...

THE FICO CREDIT SCORE SYSTEM IS UNFAIR AND BIASED AGAINST THE POOR AND MINORITIES

http://www.washingtonabc.org/conference-2011/racial-wealth-gap.pdf.

I understand that it may have started as a system to help banks decided who could pay this or that house/car payment.  It may have seemed like a good idea.

The FICO system is now used to decide whether people can get car insurance, an a apartment, an education or a job and that, in my humble opinion, is unfair and prejudicial and I'll even say un-Christian

The FICO system is so relative to circumstances beyond our control.  It is not just about whether a bill is payed or not. It is a mysterious system that few people understand; invented and controlled by...hmmm, no idea.  Is it not easily corrected and our wrongs are recorded, not just for 7 years, but for an infinite amount of time.  The information is easily manipulated and often wrong. It  gives no consideration for difficult times or catastrophic health problems.  Business are now making millions of dollars a year to "protect your identity" because the system is so failed.

It is another system in place to suggest that the world is so fair that we can judge everyone by this  three digit number and get an accurate idea of who they are as a person.  It assumes that everyone, before credit mistakes are made, has received the same financial education and has the same resources available to them for survival.  The FICO system is a financial felony for a lot of people in this country.  It handcuffs them to crime ridden areas of town and to a welfare system they would like nothing more than to get out of.  It forces the poor to pay loan shark payments to gain legally-required car insurance or to rent-to-own a sofa for 4 times the price it is worth. And they don't have the money to begin with!

It leaves them powerless against society.  If years of mistakes are made and then they get sober, get therapy and get motivated, they will still find most of their options for a success are closed because of their financial history.   The fallacy that if only you work hard you will achieve the American Dream is such a cold-hearted lie. The dirty little secret is that if you are born poor, you will probably stay poor.  And if you are born rich, no one cares about your credit score anyway. 

There will be some random exceptions to this rule (HA! Positive Deviance) which society will point to as justification that your limitations are your own fault cuz "that guy did it."  And then radio announcers will throw insults, calling you "the great unwashed",  condemning you for using food stamps.  They will sit back, confident that their own success is because of  hard work and brilliance, take their ball and go home, giving you not even a passing thought.

"You Just Don't Get It."

Someone tried to convince me today that I don't understand the poor. "You don't get it.  These are not sweet single mothers who just need a bit of help.  Most are drug addicts who beat their children and take advantage of the welfare system."

Ignorance is so cute. And how sweet of her to try and educate me.

This is why we need Dorothy Day to be recognized as a Saint. She was a member of the Communist Party. She was an anarchist and a suffragette. She was jailed at least 11 times and encouraged the men around her to resist their draft notices. She refused to pay her taxes or vote in an election.   She drank and smoked too much and slept around.  She had an abortion long before it was legal to do so. 

Even after her conversion, the Church was irked by  the work she was doing and they butted heads constantly.  Dorothy did not glamorize her work with the poor. Her work was physically demanding and there was very little respite for her and her daughter.  She hated the mental illness and the stench.  She found them difficult to stand and craved silence.

She understood the poor.
She understood poverty. 
She understood the will of God.

We don't serve the poor while wearing rose colored glasses.  We don't serve them because we feel sorry for them or because they have passed some test that proves their worthiness of charity.  We serve them because it is a command from God.  We serve them because we are all undeserving of the blessings of this world.  And whether our money and needs are met through our own hard work or if they come as a result of government assistance or generous charity, ultimately all of our blessings come from God. 

Those of us who are blessed by God with health that enables us to work, return that blessing to God by our obedience in caring for others.

So we serve, without judgment.

We serve the addict.
We serve the criminals.
We serve the victims.
We serve the violent.
We serve the sick.
We serve the crazy.
We serve the liars.
We serve the manipulators.
We serve the faith-less.

And we thank God for the blessings we receive through this service and pray for His grace and mercy.

Monday, November 19, 2012

These Days Will Come.

This was one of those weekends that I absolutely dread. My mind was being marinated with covetous thoughts of money and wealth.  Thank God these days are few and far between but this weekend was rough.

Because the poverty I enjoy is a choice on my part.  I almost always have access to money or more money if I need it.  But some pretty large tuition payments are due. They are looming and seem impossible and it is causing insomnia and stomach aches.  Christmas will be tiny this year and that is embarrassing.  My children are not given every thing they want and a few things they probably should have but Christmas has always been a catch up day for us.  The one day we spoil them a little bit.  They each get three presents (Because the Baby Jesus got 3 :))  But with four kids, that is still 12 presents plus stockings. We try to go to the movies because we rarely do that.  Christmas in our house is all about the birth of Christ, but within that spirit of abstract joy we try to provide some moments of concrete joy to impress upon the fact that THIS day IS different.  My children are so amazing at not complaining the other 364 days of the year.

So all these things were heavy on my heart over the weekend.  The stores are all decked out and playing music, and I am conflicted as to how excited I should get because I want to prepare my family for the ity-bity tiny Christmas they are about to suffer through.   The older kids expressed their willingness to go without gifts so the younger ones can have more.  I feel terrible and I went to bed fantasizing about a long lost wealthy uncle or tripping over a large box of cash that someone left behind but no longer needs.  My home looked smaller than I remembered.  It is small but this weekend the size seemed inadequate.  I was short-tempered and frustrated with everyone.  I began to question everything I believe in and hoped that at the end of my life God is not actually wanting to see my checking account summary.   And jealously reared its ugly  head.  I was jealous of my friends.  Of their homes and cars and the clothes their children wear.  It is a horrible place to be.

These days come.  And they will go.  And somehow everything will be okay one way or the other.  But as we go down this road of sacrificing and giving, it is important to remember that these days will come.  It is a certainty.  And they will go. 

Monday, October 1, 2012

How it feels to be screwed over.

It has been a rough couple weeks.  Rough on my family, our faith, our patience and probably my blood pressure.  The last two weeks we have been living in a Twilight Zone kind of reality, where everyone seems to be abiding by a different set of rules than what appears obvious to me. 

It may be the only time in my life when I have gotten the short stick of justice.  I have been appealing to the powers that be to do the right thing; to stand up for and protect the innocent.  I have begged them to obey God, to follow the law and their own policy. 

And for two weeks I have watched those in power succumb to the lure of money and the fear of politics.  I have watched the victims be further victimized and humiliated.  I am angry.  I want to cry but the tears won't come.  I want to scream and fight but those who are in control could not conceivably care any less about the anger and pain this has caused my family.  I am sick to my stomach as I watch my church making bad choices.  I am constantly reminding myself that although Christ created His church, He is more than, bigger than, better than His church.

I am powerless.

I have never really been powerless before.  It is new to me.  I am poor because I choose to be.   I have experienced misunderstandings with friends and my bank has made mistakes in my checking account...but this is altogether different.  It is inexplicable to my soul and my family WHY people in power choose to do the wrong thing.  WHY they ignore those who suffer.  WHY they bow to  money and politics instead of justice and Christ.

I told my children to remember that some people live this way everyday of their lives.  For some, injustice and oppression defines their existence.  It brings us very little comfort in our own unjust situation but we are grateful to God for this understanding and the empathy it will bring as we serve others.

Monday, September 24, 2012

It's None Of My Business

My poor children have had a rough week.  Three of the four of them.  It was a week of jumping into the middle of situations to which they previously had only been skirting the edges.  This morning my daughter, exhausted and embarressed from the fall-out, exclaimed that she should have kept her mouth shut because it was none of her business.

None of her business. None of my business.  None of our business. 

Such a sad, slippery slope.

We live in this society, don't we? Walk with your head down, keep to yourself, MYOB.

17 years ago, I accidentally walked into a room where a mother was beating her daughter with a hanger.  I quiety muttered an apology and then turned and shut the door.  Later, around the same time, I saw an orphaned child crying on the street.  He grapped my hand and showed me a horribly infected burn running down the front of his arm.  I muttered again and walked away.   For way too long a time I drove by every homeless person I saw, ignored every pain I encountered and turned my t.v. up every time I heard my neighbor being beaten by her boyfriend. 

None of these were any of my business but they are my sins.  And someday I will have to answer for them and for the countless other times I have done wrong and failed to do good. 



Saturday, August 4, 2012

Poverty Hide and Go Seek

A facebook comment irked me a couple days ago from someone  who said "there is no poverty in the United States."  Another friend suggested "If you have money for cigarettes and tatoos you do not need welfare or food stamps." 

Of course neither of these are accurate statements. They are ridiculous and easily dismissed when someone is willing to participate in a conversation   The truth is Poverty has changed in the United States. 

The breadlines and homeless families we remember seeing on grainy black and white photos which depicted the worst of the Great Depression are no longer common.  The homeless we see on the street now are most likely mentally ill, addicts, probably a combination of both. 

Where did everyone else go?

They moved.  The government got tired of seeing families suffer, taxes were collected and programs created.    The breadlines and soup kitchens moved from the street to the checkout line in Walmart.  The homeless families moved from the back alleys to government housing.  Those who were dying in the streets of America are now able to die in emergency rooms and cannot be turned away. 

They moved but they are not gone. 

The food stamp EBT card, which is making banks rich, is making families fat and unhealthy.  Government housing is substandard, dangerous and is surrounded by gates and police.  It is a soul-crushing place to live and raise your family.  Education is little more than a lottery ticket.  Medicaid cares for some of the poor but never the poorest of the poor.  The consequences of poverty have shifted from physical harm to mental detriment.  The suffering is hidden away behind a poorly locked door.  Poverty no longer evokes our sympathy.  Christ never saw poverty as a consequence for behavior.  He never condemed the poor for being so.  He never admonished the beggers.  But we do.

Government programs are not the answer to eradicating poverty.  Government programs greatest accomplishment has been to plant a seed of jealousy, justify our hate and permit our spit on those who suffer the most in our country.  

I am grateful that my tax dollars go towards the *massive* 13% of our national budget to safety net programs (http://www.cbpp.org/cms/index.cfm?fa=view&id=1258).  I am thankful my government got tired of seeing hungry children in the street and babies dying of curable diseases.  Thank God for these safety nets.  However the unintended consequence of hiding poverty away from public view is that we created an illusion that poverty no longer exists in the United States. 

Poverty is much more than a financial situation. 

Poverty is abuse.  Poverty is addiction.  Poverty is madness.  Poverty is depression.  Poverty asks more of us than just a handout.  It asks us to educate ourselves. It asks us to befriend and become uncomfortably involved in the lives of those we serve.  It challenges us to find a higher level compassion, to see the poor as Christ...pure and blameless.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Forgetting Water Bottles- By Charles Beard

Several homeless men take turns panhandling at the bottom of the exit ramp I take on the way to work. There is a different person there each day. As I get off the highway, someone is almost always standing there carrying a sign. The signs say things like “anything helps” or “rather beg than steal” or even “God bless.” If there is a line of cars waiting at the light at the bottom of the ramp, he (always a he) walks up and down the line, hoping for some luck.
I’ve never bought the idea that we shouldn’t give homeless persons cash because they may use it for booze. They might and that’s not good (though if I were homeless I’d certainly drink!), but I figure my obligation as a Christian is to be generous. If someone abuses my generosity, that’s not my responsibility. Christ never said, “Give responsibly.” He said, “Freely have you received, freely give” (Matt. 10:8). So if I’m carrying cash, I usually give something to panhandlers.
The problem is that I hardly ever carry cash. The last time I gave to one of the men at the bottom of the ramp, I had to give him quarters out of my toll road change jar. I felt the need to apologize to the gentleman for the inconvenience.
Recently I thought instead of giving cash, I can make a point of taking a bottle of water with me to work and hand it to the person at the bottom of the ramp. The Beard household is lousy with plastic bottles (since we recycle…eventually). It wouldn’t be any problem at all to grab a bottle, fill it with water, and take it with me.
I have yet to actually do this. It’s not that I don’t have time; I’ve been teaching mostly at night and my days are my own to write or to read. The problem is I just clean forget and don’t think about it until I’m at the bottom of the ramp, trying to give the homeless man dignity by saying hello without making him think I have anything for him.
I’m not very familiar with the Catholic Worker movement, and the Catholic Worker House here in Tulsa is more like a couple of families who try to live the lifestyle while staying in touch online. But I think that the Catholic Worker’s commitment to voluntary poverty is important because it forces us to remember less fortunate persons. I don’t mean this in the trite prayer-before-Thanksgiving way, but I mean it helps us to physically remember them. The hunger that we choose to feel is like a rubber band around our wrist telling us there was something we have to do.
When we don’t feel that hunger, we forget.
It never occurred to me to give out water bottles until the air conditioner in my car went on the fritz and started working intermittently. It was only then that I saw the men and thought, “Boy, they must be hot out there!” (Maybe if my air conditioner broke all the way I’d actually remember the bottles!) Voluntary suffering breeds empathy with involuntary suffering, and empathy breeds action.
My challenge for the next week is to utilize God’s grace to spur that action.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Non-Profit is Big Business

$95,129.00
$71,749.00
$75,000.00
$235,780.00
$81,113.00


These are the 2010 reported incomes of the directors of the 5 most popular non-profit/charities located in Tulsa.  They are all supported with a combination of Federal, State and Private dollars.  They all say they serve the most vulnerable and impoverished families of our community.  They serve the hungry and the homeless.  They serve the physically sick and mentally ill.  They provide turkeys at Christmas and spend a lot of their time fundraising and grant writing.

Fundraising. The mouse wheel that began to run on when we first discovered that charity could be a job.   Social workers, receptionists and janitors were hired and CEO's were appointed.  Overhead was developed and attention slowly moved away from the window.  Now the charities have salaried employees that they are responsible for.  The survival of the mission is critical, not simply to care for those on the street but to assure the continued employment of those inside the buildings.

So in order to ration the funds, charities are forced to limit the services they provide.  Now intakes and qualifications are required and those waiting in line are no longer brothers and sisters in Christ, they are clients.  Your family can receive assistance once a month or twice a year but when this generosity is not sufficient to ease your family's pain you are blamed. Then families are forced to "charity-chase" from one agency to the next and charities can scowl at them for behaving like this. 

Non-biblical references are quoted like "God helps those who help themselves" to justify the charities behavior and paychecks.  Charities give our community permission to ignore their neighbor or refer them to an agency.  The complacent faithful allow Charities rob us, every single day, of the opportunity to personally serve the living Christ.

Charities don't trust in God to provide, they trust in our government to grant and bestow.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

I Disagree with the Bishops but I'm Going to Participate in the Fortnight for Freedom Anyway — by Charles Beard

By now, most American Catholics are aware that bishops have asked us to spend two weeks in prayer and fasting between June 21 (the eve of the feast of Sts. Thomas More and John Fisher) and July 4 (Independence Day) for the preservation of religious liberty. The bishops believe (and a good many others agree with them) that religious liberty is under attack due to the now-infamous mandate of the Obama administration requiring employers to cover contraception on their employees' insurance, even if the employer is Catholic or a Catholic institution.
The bishops have even presented us with a prayer for the occasion, available here.
The reaction of many liberal Catholics to the bishops' effort has ranged from bewilderment to outright hostility. I don't really count myself as part of the liberal Catholic crowd, but Vincent Miller at America magazine summarized my own feelings succinctly: "I’ve wrestled with the USCCB Religious Liberty campaign for some time. I support its big-picture goals, but so much about its tone, argument, timing, and politics leaves me concerned."
Even though I practice the Church's teaching on contraception, I have a hard time seeing how the mandate violates my religious liberty. I have an even harder time seeing how the revised mandate (the much-maligned "accommodation") violates the religious liberty of Catholic hospitals and schools. And I have the hardest time understanding how, even if I am wrong, the mandate represents an "unprecedented threat," as some bishops are claiming, or why it justifies the type of civil action from Catholics that the bishops are asking for.
This is not the place to discuss why I think these things. Suffice to say I do, and I'd be happy to discuss it in another place.
However, there are a number of reasons to follow the bishops' request anyway. I intend to pray and fast during the Fortnight for Freedom, and would encourage others who disagree with the bishops to do the same. Allow me to list three reasons you should.
Reason One: It's never a bad idea to pray when the bishops ask us to pray.
I hear the complaint frequently that the bishops are turning into Republican politicians and aren't doing their job as spiritual leaders. I think that charge is overstated, but it is not without merit. Well, here they are asking us to do spiritual things like pray and fast. That can't be a bad thing.
In fact, such a thing should be encouraged. We should remember that Dorothy Day, our patron saint as Catholic Workers, thought prayer and fasting were indispensible parts of the spiritual life and lamented when parts of the hippie movement—with which she identified—lacked that discipline. If our bishops are asking us to pray more than the bare minimum, even if we question their goals and motives, we should rejoice and do it.
Reason Two: We might be wrong.
It's not pleasant to contemplate, but it's true. Obviously this doesn't mean we stop engaging in activism and it certainly doesn't mean we should pretend to agree with the bishops. But it does mean that when we approach God in prayer and expose our true selves with whatever good or evil we have done, we cannot pretend to be infallible. It is important to remember this, especially when we strongly disagree with those—such as the bishops—whom the Lord has called us to be in communion with.
One of the things I love most about the Catholic Church is the way it embraces the primacy of individual conscience while maintaining skepticism of individual judgment. Intuitively, we know and understand these two concepts—that we always have to do what we believe to be right and that so many of our own decisions turn out to be wrong. But to my knowledge, the Catholic Church is the only organization on earth that actively tries to live out that tension. Lord knows it doesn't always do so very well. But that doesn't mean we should abandon the tension and descend into self-righteous certitude.
It could be said that the bishops themselves have descended into self-righteous certitude. Maybe, but it's not our job to judge or even to worry about the bishops. Our job is to be Christ's love in the world, and part of that means acknowledging the possibility—however remote—that we might be wrong. For me, one way to acknowledge that is to pray with those I disagree with in the Fortnight of Freedom.
Reason Three: Living in a "big tent" Church cuts both ways.
Liberal Catholics like to complain that conservatives want to push them out of the Church. Conservative Catholics, particularly in the blogosphere, don't do the best job of disproving that opinion. Liberal Catholics in this country feel marginalized (sometimes it seems they like feeling marginalized) and talk about becoming Episcopalian, while conservative Catholics note (sometimes gleefully) the ongoing train wreck of the Episcopal Church, laying the blame on people in that church most like liberal Catholics.
At that point, liberal Catholics throw up their collective hands and appeal to the quote attributed—probably wrongly—to St. Augustine: "in essential things, unity; in non-essential things, liberty; in all things, charity." They ask conservative Catholics to accept them as part of the Church and let them be.
It's probably true that conservative Catholics have an overly broad view of what constitutes Church teaching. They should do a better job of extending the benefit of the doubt, but liberal Catholics must do the same thing. Maintaining the unity of the ark of salvation that subsists in the Catholic Church is of paramount, almost overwhelming, importance. It's not reasonable to expect that every single Catholic will agree on every single thing. Just as conservatives shouldn't accuse liberals of heresy when they arrive at a different prudential judgment on the contraception mandate, liberals shouldn't accuse conservatives of abandoning the poor because they are insufficiently committed to universal health care. While we agree on principles, we may freely disagree on the application of those principles and remain part of the same Church. Praying with the bishops during the Fortnight of Freedom is a good way to remember this unity in spite of the disagreement.
Though we may disagree with why the bishops are asking us to pray, all Catholics believe that God's providence ultimately will prevail. We also believe that Jesus Christ prefers unity in the Church to disunity, since he prayed, "I have given them the glory you [the Father] gave me, so that they may be one, as we are one" (John 17:22). If we cannot in conscience agree with the bishops, surely it is better to pray with them rather than against them. While it is appropriate to take our frustrations to God in prayer, it is even more appropriate to pray in conjunction with those who frustrate us, to show that we don't allow those frustrations to divide us. Rather than praying, "Lord, there they go harping on government and birth control again," we should pray, "Lord, they're harping on government and birth control again, but I love them anyway and trust in Your will on the matter."
-
When it comes to the Fortnight of Freedom, I have mixed feelings on its goals and disagree with its tone. It also has a hokey name that reminds me more of freedom fries than the sublime mystery of Christ and the Church. Nevertheless, the Beard household will pray for religious liberty every night during those two weeks. I will try to fast a couple of those days as well (I make no promises: I suck at fasting). In doing so, I hope to contribute just a little to the "in all things, charity" part of the mantra, even if Augustine didn't say it.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

A good evening...

It has been a great couple of weeks.  I am hesitant to discuss a lot of the details but God must be glorified.

Our family, very spontaneously, has begun hosting community cook-outs.  The  second one was tonight and it is just amazing to see Christ work.  There was no advertising or advance planning.  Very simply and quietly, hamburgers were set out on the grill by the pool.  A table was set with chips and fruit and when the hamburgers were done, hungry people just showed up.  A prayer was said to bless the food and then we all sat and ate together.  Later, of course, we relit the grill for smores. 

Here is what I have noticed...when God is asked to bless something, boy can He come through!  We always had food left over, which was surprising considering how many hungry boys were sitting at the table.  Everyone left with full tummies and may God be thanked, worshipped and glorified.

The Ladder of Success

I often wish I could sit with Dorothy Day and ask her where we should start.  The United States is such a different place now than when she began. The government provides food stamps and medical care for the poor, and right or wrong it relieves a bit of their burden.  There are food closets on every corner and charities of every shape and size.  People are more skilled at hiding their pain and needs.  Where is one Catholic Worker supposed to get a foot in the door?

My neighborhood is a good example.  We live in an area where families either work really, REALLY hard or live off of government assistance.  A lot of families do both.  But it is not a dilapidated area of town.  If you drive by you might think that living here wouldn't be so bad.  And its not.  We have a pool to swim in and a small pond where kids can fish.  It is in a fairly nice school district.

Don't be fooled.  There is pain here. 

You have to really be paying attention but after living here awhile you will see it.  Small children wandering around alone at all hours of the night; families being evicted; folks sitting on their stoop, smoking, passing time and the parties and fights between neighbors.  There is enough pain to go around.  It is wrapped in heavy cloaks of neglect and despair, addiction and mental illness and worry.  There is always something to worry about.

I have great ambitions.  In the past I have tricked myself into believing that if I am not mirroring Dorothy Day or the great Mother T., than I am failing Christ.  I wouldn't serve unless it was a BIG service.  The problem was, this kind of service never seemed to come around so I never did anything.  This kind of ambition is as damaging as a passion to climb the ladder of financial success.  It took me awhile to release these fantasies and to learn to serve where I am. Wherever I am, I am a servant of Christ and those around me.

The CW in Tulsa may never be as beautifully organized as it is in other states and that is okay.  Because we are not a charity, we are a community.  If you have a desire to live simply, volunteer to give away whatever you don't need, live with those in poverty and advocate for the oppressed...  if this sounds like a pretty great deal, than welcome to OUR community.  Embrace your life as a Catholic Worker.  Don't wait for a building or a monthly staff meeting, just walk out your door and serve.  And don't forget to pray.  We must always be in prayer.

Joy in Christ...

Thursday, May 31, 2012

I am just pissed off.

I watched a family become homeless today.  A single mother and her two very young sons were evicted from their apartment are now out on the street.  She is sick and can't work. She has no family or other support systems.  She actually got kicked out of her apartment about 2 weeks ago but moved in with another generous family in the same complex.  Once the apartment managers found out, they threatened both families with eviction if the mother and two children did not vacate immediately.

The kids, unfortunately, are just old enough to completely understand what is going on and be terrified, but much too young to do anything about it.   The apartment managers had about 1000 ways to show mercy to this family.

I hope the apartment managers don't sleep a wink tonight, knowing that a five year old and a 7 year old boy have no roof over their heads.  The apartment managers did not earn one single penny from this eviction.  They didn't earn a promotion or win an award.  Of course they are perfectly within their legal rights to chuck this family out...big freaking deal.  This is what is wrong with Capitalism, left to itself it is devoid of compassion, of humanity and children get thrown away.

I am not going to sugar coat my anger tonight.  I am pissed.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Looking around.

So here I am. A lone Catholic Worker in Tulsa, waiting for a community to join me.  Perfectly content in my solitary committment to Christ but I still hope God blesses Tulsa with a larger CW showing in our town. 

I get so used to driving downtown or to other parts of town to search for the hungry that I forgot to look in front of me.  There are hungry people living right next door.  My own neighbors, friends of my children go to bed with empty tummies.  Oops. How could I not have seen the needs that I walk by every single day on the way to my car? We tried to fix that oversight over the weekend by grilling and eating outside. The hungry tummies eventually made their way over and we were blessed by God in being able to share, not just the food, but our day and our family time.

May God forgive my blind eyes and be glorified in our lives.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Why Does Tulsa Need Catholic Workers?

     Tulsa is an incredibly generous community.  Non-profit charities and food banks are as common here as gas stations.  There is actual competition for volunteer opportunities.  Just yesterday my daughter received an email from the Tulsa Food Bank requesting 50 volunteers to bag food on Saturday, "first come, first serve!"  Last Thanksgiving I took my daughters down to Catholic Charities to put together food baskets and there were so many people they barely had a place to put us. People actually have to make reservations to come and help. Whew.

With all this explosive generosity, is there really a need for a Catholic Workers Movement in the Tulsa area.?  I think yes, and I'll explain at least 3 reasons why.

     First of all, the CWM is not a charity in any sense of the word.  We do not rely on United Way. We do not apply for private or federal funding. We do not create an extra burden by hiring employees and establishing overhead.  On the other hand, Catholic Workers are also not volunteers.  We are not people who take a break from our regular lives to spend a few hours a week giving back.  Not that any of these things are bad, necessarily, it is just not what defines us. 

     Catholic Workers are a community of believers, following Christ's commandments, who choose a life of voluntary poverty.  We choose to stand beside and advocate for those who have no power to escape poverty.  We serve them with what we have in our own pocket, not with what we can get other people to donate. 

     Unlike a traditional charity, we do not require anything from those we serve.  There are no hoops to jump through to qualify for our services.  We don't care how much a person earns or whether they are married.  We don't ask them to give up personal details of their life or attend educational classes to receive.  It is a gift economy.  Freely ask, Freely give.

     We also have no restrictions on our expressions of faith, because no government entity is looming over our shoulder.  We are free to pray and praise.  Thanking God for His blessings and seeing His face in those we serve. God's light is placed high on the hill for all to see and the glory is His.

    I believe the presence of Charities, despite their pure intentions, actually do damage to our hearts.  Jesus never intended there to be so many degrees of seperation between the giver and the recipient.   Being able to drop off our donations through a drive through window or send in money online sanitizes poverty so that we are separated from the reality of it.  When we allow our opinions of the poor to be formed only by the media and pre-existing stereotypes, it becomes easier for us to judge them.  We simplify the solutions to their plight and scoff because they do not follow our haughty advice.  From far away it is easy to take credit for our status in life and to blame them for their status in theirs.  It becomes easy to hate.

     But when we remove the barriers between us and them; when we allow ourselves to experience the pain, the tears, the smells, the fears and the hopelessness that accompanies poverty, we are consumed by a wave of compassion that can only come from God when we are doing His will.

     Charities create the illusion that only some of us are called to serve full-time. Sure, the Mother Theresa's and the Dorothy Days are noble.  We look up to them but we can't all be expected to live like that, right? Wrong.  Christ never made this distinction.  This is what Dorothy Day meant when she said not to call her a saint.  She did not want to be placed in a category of good-doers who are held aloft for their sacrifice.  She knew that ALL Christians are called to this same service. 

     Finally, we must ask ourselves, what happens if our fragile system of fund-raising and tax write-offs disappears?  If our economy becomes so ill that it cannot continue its generous support of our neighbors, literally over-night it will become the sole responsibility of  the Church.  If we have spent our lives buying in to the idea that it is someone elses job to do the dirty work, if our attitude continues to be suspicious of every stranger standing on a street corner, who will feed Jesus? Who will clothe Him?  An entire belief system cannot change overnight so we must begin NOW.  We must see clearly what Christ has asked us to do.  True Christian faith is as radical an idea now as it was when Christ walked this earth.  We must embrace a life of servant-hood and take on the burdens of others as our own now, as a choice, so that we are prepared for when it becomes a necessesity.

Blessings.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Pizza and the Homeless Man

Pray to God for His mercy.  Today was a day I did just that.  It has been a struggle trying to get the CW movement going in Tulsa.  I have a vision of what it should be in my heart and another vision in my head. And as the internal conflict continues, neither bear fruit. 

I was on the way to pick up my daughter from school, and as I figured she probably skipped lunch, I was stopping to grab her a slice of pizza on the way.  I first saw the man laying in the grass, napping kind of, but not really.  My heart, and its vision, tugged at me.  I should have stopped but traffic was crazy, I was running late, blah blah blah.  You know the excuses that were running through my head.

I pulled into the pizza place (Shout Out Pie Hole) and ordered a couple slices and some ice water to go.  As I sat and waited, who should walk in the door but the same face of Christ that I saw a few moments ago laying in the grass.  He had  dark hair and looked sun-burned.  He was missing all of his front teeth. Dirty of course.

I froze. I wish I could say I responded in a more lofty, spiritual manner, but no. I literally froze in my chair.  He looked around at me and two other people in the resturaunt with his hands outstreached.  He waited a few minutes, shook his head and then turned around and left.  Christ, hungry, left my presence unfed.  Everything I write about and everything I believe turned to hypocrisy and layed meaningless on the table in front of me.  I shut my book and prayed silently, asking God for his forgiveness.  I felt a wave of shame crash over my heart.

When I retrieved the pizza box and headed out the door,  I knew I was looking for a third chance from God for redemption.  I looked down the road and there he was, sitting a half a block away, my mercy from God waiting for me.  I handed him the box and water and he said, "Thank you. I haven't eaten anything in two or three days."  I replied, "It's only a couple slices of pizza, nothing much."  And he looked at me and said "It will be wonderful."

What I missed was the opportunity to provide for him, not just a meal, but some dignity.  I should have invited him to sit in an air conditioned building; to order what he wanted; to give of my time and my heart; to relieve some of his burden. I failed at the most important ideals in which I believe.  May God have mercy on my soul.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Who are we blaming?

A friend of mine once commented to me that during her time as a lector for her parish, she was asked to remove "all those with self-imposed troubles" from the prayer request list.  This seems to be a sad reflection of a country-wide obsession for assigning blame and fault.  And although public apologies have become almost meaningless in our current society, simply satyre for comedians, we, those who are followers of Christ and members of His Church, should never allow fault to determine who is the recipient of our generosity or our prayers.

There is a biblical mandate to provide compassion for both the leper, who was simply a random victim of sickness, AND the prostitute, who was a victim of her own life decisions. Jesus showed compassion to His friends, His enemies, His betrayers, and His murderers.  There was no limit for Christ and there should be no limit for us.

Dorothy Day encouraged love and service of 3 groups: 1. Love the poor.  2. Love those who are not poor.  3. Love Christ and His Church.   Can we make it any more simple?  There are no exceptions for those who drink, or are guilty.  No exceptions for the mother with 8 kids and no father, no exceptions for the Disney stars turned sluts and crack addicts.  No exceptions for those with bad credit, jobless, lazy, stupid, cheaters, swindlers, liars, illegal immigrants...pick your negative label or stereotype and there are still no exceptions for Christs love and there is no exception for ours. 

If we follow Christ, we serve all without question, without exception and without judgement.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

A Trip Down 6th Street- by Charles Beard

I had a meeting at 6th and Utica this morning. Because I like to walk, I parked at Peoria and walked down 6th Street. The Pearl District is an interesting mish-mash of businesses. Construction workers where I parked were renovating an old building — judging from the banner on the back wall I think it’s going to be a dance club. Across the street from this I saw an art studio.
Then the auto repair shops started. I stopped to gawk at a Corvette parked in front of one shop; I could see a nitro tank through the back windshield. One car upholstery shop had the delightful name of Bitchin’ Stitchin’. Various light manufacturing companies dotted the cityscape all the way to Utica. Even with the boarded up buildings, it was a wonderful walk.
On the way back, however, I saw two auto repair employees — working stiffs — take a break outside. They were sitting on the sidewalk in front of their store, probably smoking. An old pick-up truck was parked on the sidewalk, separating them from the street.
As I approached these two, I nodded to say hello. One of them said, “Take a left turn.” I didn’t know what he meant so I kept walking, passing the truck on the right. I saw a homeless man, an Indian with a scraggly beard, walking toward me. I realized that the auto worker had been trying to dissuade me from interacting with the Indian.
I think this incident belies a “keep-to-your-own” culture we have in this city. A businessperson in a suit may have ignored the auto workers. The auto workers ignored the homeless person. Who knows whom the homeless man might have ignored?
Being human, we do this because we have a hard time identifying with people who are not “like us.” If you think about it, most of your friends are probably of the same race, class, and political viewpoint. So are mine. The identification is almost tribal. Yet as Christians we believe that Jesus came to the world to identify with persons from every one of these groups and more. As Catholics, part of the beauty of the Church is its conceptualization as one Body. We are each a vital organ that the Church cannot (or should not have to) do without, whatever group we belong to notwithstanding.
The challenge of this belief is to stretch us outside our tribes. To remain within your tribe is ultimately as isolating as never stretching beyond yourself. Because man is a social being, we will not be able to connect with God unless we are willing to make the effort to connect with others, not just the others we you are advised to take a left turn, for the love of God, don’t.

Monday, April 30, 2012

Luke 16: 19-31 Right Here in Tulsa.

One morning, when you have nothing better to do, take your family out for a drive in Tulsa.  Beginning at 21st Street, drive down Peoria Avenue.
My daughter and I took this trip last Wednesday.   First we rambled down the most artistic part of our city, filled with old and new money.  The houses are so breathtaking that they provide no doubt we are witnessing art  that people actually get to live in.   I can’t see myself living in these houses, not even in my dreams, because they are so far separated from my reality.  But I drive by them everyday and appreciate them the way I appreciate art in a museum: with a mixture of admiration and confusion, my eyes hungering for their beauty…
After rolling through Brookside, glancing at restaurants that are much too upscale and elegant for my rambunctious family to dine in, we encountered those proverbial train tracks that separate our city. I44.  The I44 overpass silently warns us by its frustrating, eternal construction and endless stoplights that we really ought to either turn back or get on the expressway- do anything but go forward. The traffic pause gives heed, “People have died on these roads you are about to travel.  People are shot and killed for no reason and with no warning. Stop. STOP!”
The businesses quietly turn from boutiques and outside eateries to payday loan operations and pawn shops.  Bars on windows ominously appear, adding to the quiet warning that this neighborhood is dangerous.  The large estates morph into cheap, neglected apartment complexes with broken windows and doorways boarded up with plywood.  There are no flowers or gardens.  Actually, there is no visual beauty at all that would provide relief to the experience of residing there.  There is one grocery store with a produce department compiled of bruised apples and rotten bananas swarming with fruit flies.  
The women we saw a mile back, click-clacking in high heeled shoes down the perfectly landscaped sidewalks and gabbing away on their iPhones, were replaced by somber-faced families aimlessly wandering or sitting on their stoops, waiting for some universal answer to explain their lives’ circumstances. 

Frivolity to hopelessness in less than three miles.        

How did it come to be that the wealthiest, most fashionable parts of our city and the most violent and dilapidated sections now lay side by side?  Do they see each other?  And perhaps the more important question is,  "Is this okay with Tulsa?  Is it okay with God?"  I don't believe God could have made a more obvious contrast.   It is literally the scene of Lazurus and the Rich Man right here in our city.   We can try to  convince ourselves that the socio-economic problems of drug use, prostitution and welfare led to these living conditions but after we have gone through our liteny of rhetoric, lets consider for a brief moment, the possibility that growing up in this kind of oppression and life-long failure causes such utter depression for which drugs and prostitution are respites for survival?  How long could any of us live in these circumstances before we succumbed?
Where are we, Christians?  Where are we, Catholics?  We are closing our eyes and hearts until 71st and Riverside gracefully relieve us of our responsibilty.  We can and should be here, on Peoria between 51st and 61st Street's,  loving those who will not love us in return.  Serving  those who have already given up their dignity, their safety, their financial security and credit ratings.  Let's begin our call from God in this neighborhood, at this time.